Thirty and Loving it

Time flies…………and I believe moreso, as you get older. Who would have thought 2016, never mind ‘thirty-something’.

Life is ‘supposed’ to be a perennial beach- so I heard. I used to perceive thirty as old, very old. But now I know its a ripe age. Funny, how much you don’t know when you think you know. Before thirty you are really enrolled in an apprenticeship program- but at thirty you matriculate to life – ready to take on this world.

I still remember age 9, its not that long ago……we were kids at heart- not a care in the world nor a moment to spare. We played, we laughed, we ate, we slept, we obeyed, that was our world. No cellphones, no taxis, no internet, it was just us- we only had each other. Our little world was perfect, we were poor but we didn’t know. Poverty was only understood in comparison- and years later too. Enlightenment is good, enlightenment is bad. In our cocoon, we were contented. No envy, no competition, no blame, no shame, no greed- we fought and we forgave. But there is a huge wide world out there, and once you are exposed to it there really is no going or coming back.

Age 15, 18, 23, 30, 35………….you realize something is happening when the rhetoric begins changing; its no longer okay, its now actually sinful to be single, un-tethered or without child.”Time to have a baby or where is your husband?” they say. You might be labeled gay; and suddenly to be free, single and disengaged is not so virtuous, its just not that cute. Your mom want grand-kids, your aunts want in-laws, your friends want god-kids, everyone has expectations and aspirations for you. Items keep coming on the Bucket List- they are just not added by you. When will you buy a car or build a house? The din is deafening, its so crazy. Material trappings have become the epitome of success. I never get it, why is it always about what you don’t have?  Why is the conversation never about gratitude for what you really have? Do we always have to compete for stripes and highlight each other’s shortcomings? Apparently so.

Now what can you do? Not much of a choice, i guess- pander to everyone’s wishes or find the courage to stand on your two feet. Each day brings enough of its own new or old versions of the challenge-
myriad problems to solve,
solicited advice to proffer,
complex decisions to navigate,
novel obstacles to ride over.
When will it stop? Age 50, sixty perhaps……who knows….do you learn the juggling act by then? And still I ask, when is it truly about you and what you want, when will it be about empathy, humility, freewill, contentment? What about your soul? Where does it fall in the pecking order? Are we moving forward, backwards?

Yes! We all live for validation, we all want to fit-in, we want to be en vogue, to be in the in-crew- no one wants to be the subject of ridicule or the topic of conversation so we do what we need to do. In-vitro, egg-freezing,online dating, botox, (HA)- Then of course, all hell breaks loose……….As its not just okay to do it and keep it to ourselves. We must be seen, heard and complimented. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts all work for good and for bad. Can we afford this anyway, or can we afford not to?

Life has evolved rapidly in my thirties, makes me wonder about the next thirty. So because it’s all in your hands are you going to be thirty and living it, thirty and faking it, thirty and making it or thirty and loving it?

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