I didn’t know…….

As a child, I was never allowed to call elderly people, teachers or pastors by their first name only. Respect was shown for their age or position by some presumed or real title…….Maas this or Miss that, or Aunty Jane or Uncle John or Pastor so and so. I didn’t know that in other cultures it wasn’t like that.

I didn’t know that their could be a vast amount of and or prolonged periods of sunshine in winter, I further didn’t know that clothes if hung to dry in this sunlight would never get dried.

I didn’t know that airlines if over booked would ‘pay’ passengers to give up their seats, provided they volunteered. Now I know why some people always lurked by the counters, now I know. And please note….it seems best to volunteer as you dont want to be dragged from your seat.

I didn’t know for a very long time that things could not fill the void and emptiness that can exist inside of us. I also didn’t know that every single human being longs for, lives for and desires validation; until you ask a question and you end up listening to a narrative at least five minutes long about related and unrelated matters.

I didn’t know that love could or would hurt…..until my heart itself got broken. Even then I didn’t know it was love that was breaking my heart, I thought it was hate. I didn’t know puppy love was real, until I got my own dogs and saw how much they loved me. I had no choice but to love them back……..kinda how God loves me so much that I can’t help but love him in return.

I didn’t know men felt shame………or struggled to be brave.

I remember as a child being fascinated with these ‘words’….’Yogoslavia, Mississippi, Philadelphia, Vancouver, Amsterdam, Czechoslovakia’………as a little girl these were just words. I have always loved words…. I just didn’t know that for a very long time. I also didn’t know that I would ever get to visit some of these places.

I didn’t know that my worth was not pegged to anything. I didn’t know I was enough right now in this skin, with this body and face…….and I didn’t know that for a very long time. Even now I still struggle, but each time I just catch the thought and come back.

And there are many other things I still dont know……….


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