I got to thinking about respect. Is it true that this must be earned? I don’t believe that……I respect people. Full stop. Period. No one should have to earn my respect…….loyalty and trust well those are different kettles of fish.
I was reminded about comics last night as a friend and I spoke about everything and anything. Of course, whenever you have those conversations anything is possible….it just ebbs and flows at will until……well, until last night we got to talking about Mutt and Jeff, The Born Loser, Tiger and Peanuts…….her comment was “these were no surface humour”. It led both of us on a journey…..I started googling the comic itself and she Mr. Schulz….such an incredible man.
This particular piece resonated with me as it was earlier in the day, in another conversation I contended that I do not subscribe to the notion of getting a new girl or guy to get over an old flame. In my mind, that is just a band aid, as pain must be healed the right way. I felt vindicated my this……even as I chose to see the humour, sarcasm and profundity of it.
It’s a holiday today……holidays =freedom for me and this does not mean work does not equal freedom, because we all know it does, AND in a real sense. And if we want to get pedantic, holidays are not always = to freedom either……..But let’s keep this keep this simple, like Charlie Brown. I cannot tell you the immense joy that has enveloped my whole being. I feel full and peaceful……..and it’s not like I have major plans. I have an itinerary for the day, yes……but it’s indoor activities and all for me. I got to thinking how much I relish the latitude to freely decide what I want to do…..and then do nothing if I so desire. It is liberating to know you have your own schedule…..with things to do that are all about you. Now this is not to say, I don’t also relish the days when I do things with and for others……I love those too. It’s just that the former is new to me I have never before chosen me…….and it’s gratifying, and novel and self fulfilling to be doing so now. These days I feel humbled whenever I think about what freedom means……..and also what joy means. I find these states not in the earthshaking or extra-ordinary but in the mundane of every day……..
Choosing myself I find is a work in progress, I have to practice everyday………and it is hardly possible without understanding a deep firm fundamental truth-which is, that God loves me and he did so long before I was even conceived. He loved me when I messed up, when I felt dirty and in all of other my broken states. He loves me not because of who I am but because of who he is. Well, if someone loves you like that, then at least you know you don’t have to hustle. This helped me relax in the knowledge that I cannot perform or perfect or produce for love…..love must be free. What a relief.