Life lessons 2021

1. Surrender. Life pull tricks out of the bag all the time. Sometime you have to make decisions you couldn’t even imagine-some within your control, others that are not. People surprise you, and some show their true colours. Some really hurt you. But allow people to be themselves and also be reminded that there a surprise can be a good thing.
2. Hard decisions are just that- HARD. How we make them is as personal and individual as we are. We cannot dismiss the hardship and suffering they bring as if life is not only about entertainment, optimism, aggrandizement and gratitude. Hardship has a place. And therefore given life is hard and you will inevitably have some hardship, what kind of person am I? Do I take risks, do I strive for the best of the best always? Or will I compromise for my peace of mind and for the good of others? Does that include accepting mediocrity?
3. Being, is Important. Doing is important too. I must seek to strike a balance. This year I had a few friends who really experienced some tough times. I felt helpless at a minimum and guilty at most; but I endeavored to be there for them in my own imperfect way, just being. Other times I did what I could. Both were appreciated.
4. I lost some friends, revived some dormant ones, rekindled some old ones, working on others and there was this curious thing. There are some people who I am not sure we are friends but we have some good connections. Maybe if you don’t name it or define it or agree on it, it can’t be friendship. Still thinking about this. I have never been reckless or casual about the use of the word friend, I realized not everyone thinks like that. For some, a friend is one who they can call on to fill an empty calendar day, but not someone who you will sacrifice any time for. For others a friend is someone you have pity for, someone who makes you feel good or better about yourself. I am thinking about these too.
5. I learnt just how much our environment shapes us- consciously but more so subconsciously. We may call that growth, but it may also be a betrayal of sorts, a blind optimism, or simply just forgetting. How we perceive things and carve opinions must be filtered though these lens. I went home and I was seeing everything through foreign eyes. I couldn’t understand why everyone wasn’t annoyed or outraged even. Garbage, clogged public bathrooms, unruly drivers, uncut grass, no sidewalks. You see what I mean? It only seemed normal and I settled down when I realized what was happening to me. I had to also remind myself of the beautiful organic things about home, and that no matter what this was my home. Imperfect in all its grandeur.
6. Somehow I kept learning, forgetting and learning again that kindness is very nuanced. But even so, kindness is not about equality, it doesn’t have to be grand and most importantly, be open to any response to your act of kindness. There can be disbelief, ingratitude and gratitude, incredulity, tentativeness, flat refusal, tears and laughter et al.